May 14, 2012

RSVP for the BIG DAY!

Jun 6, 2011

So how have things been?

What a vague question, that is. Yet, one that has the potential to unlock a conversation full of life-sharing. Or not.

You see, I've recently learnt that we have the extraordinary ability to stifle a conversation, even when it is riddled with open-ended questions.

Case in point:
A: So how are you? How have things been?
B: Fine fine.. what about you?
A: Okay la.. so-so only. How's your job? Stress or not?
B: Like that lorr... you?
A: Okay only lor.. nothing much happening.

And there you have it - a conversation that's full of answers that don't say much at all!

We're so accustomed to this form of conversation, we don't realise that there's no transfer of information or sharing of lives, just a transfer of words and formalities.

I often do this myself too.

I guess you could say that it depends entirely on the depth of relationship between the 2 parties. Perhaps.

But I think most of the time - we're reluctant to share.

Are we really such private people that we refuse to share our life with friends?

But instead fuel conversations by talking about people other than yourselves?

Jan 10, 2011

What is this feeling?

What is this feeling? This feeling of discontentment?

What is this feeling? This feeling of anger?

What is this feeling? This feeling of being at the losing end?

How long shall I hold on?

How long shall I persevere?

Sometimes, it feels like it is worth my effort at all.

Why should I care, if you don't?

Why should I go the distance, if you're not willing to move an inch?

Why should I stay, if there's no joy left?

How long? How much more can I take?

Oh Lord. Help me.

Jul 23, 2010

Realistic dreams. Dreamy reality.

I wonder if I should allow myself to float so high and lose touch of reality. Because the issues of reality will definitely be hard ones to sort out. Don't want to be stuck in a dream thinking that is reality, or do I?

Musings, musings.

I'm back. ;-)

Feb 20, 2010

Until 'Ever After'

Meet The Lady.

She is inching into her forties. Single. Yearning to settle down.

Highly qualified, excellent at her work. A specialist.

Why is she single? Who knows. Perhaps it was her plain Jane looks that kept men at bay? Or maybe it was her high qualifications as a medical doctor that left men feeling 'under-qualified'. Perhaps it was her demanding career that left her no time to socialize. A common plague among doctors, regardless of gender.

There isn't one single reason that she could pick out to be the culprit. Perhaps it was a combination of culprits that contributed to her lack of companionship.

She has a slightly chubby appearance, a weathered smile with a hint of insecurity. Insecurity, something she that she has tried (and is still trying) to defeat throughout her years of searching.

There's no denying that she no longer has her young looks. And it seems that that is all the men at her age are looking for. Sweet young things. A heart of gold, she has. But the years passed has strained her heart. It is growing tired. It is tiring to keep hoping.

Oh, she's had her share of failed relationships. One even cheated her of her financial savings. By the time she found out, it was too late, the money was gone and she was alone - heartbroken.

Enters The Jerk. Also single. Thinks the world of himself.

You could call him 'The Player', but his slouchy, slacking, unimpressive and undistinguished appearance and attitude dis-entitles him from that label. A more accurate description would be 'a bag of potatoes', or so they say. Harsh, but true.

Yet, with his qualification, he does have some bargaining power. He is a lawyer.

How a lawyer and a bag of potatoes can co-exist in a 1 body is beyond me. But that's not for me to decipher.

The Jerk recognizes The Lady as a lady in distress. I guess it was easy to tell that she was 'desperate'. The Jerk takes advantage. Goes in for the kill.

She is happy, momentarily. Oh, to receive attention of a man, however half-hearted it was, was a sign of a something good. It gave her a twinkle of hope for an 'ever after'. The word 'happily' preceding the phrase would be an optional prefix, she tells herself.

She'll make do. She'll settle for him. After all, she has not many cards left to play.

Guess you could say that they were 'together' or 'going out'. But considering the way he treated her, I think it would have been more appropriate to call it an 'open relationship'. At least that is what people call it these days.

The Jerk came to her when he needed her company. She cooked for him. Listened to him. Bared her hopeful heart to him. After all, she was ever the expectant one. The adoring eyes of a hopeful lady, who could ask for more?

But The Jerk had his eyes set higher. He went out with other potentials. Other single, more attractive ladies. But The Lady was always his comfort zone, the rebound. Kinda like the safe zone he goes back to rest after he's had a ball outside.

Whether she knew what he was doing this behind her back, I don't know. Perhaps, she did. But wanted to think the best of him. Wanted to hope for the best.

This went on for 4 years. She had hoped for 4 years. Never once did he mention 'marriage'. Her parents had spoken to him, nudging him in that direction. Spiritual leaders even asked if he had those intentions.

His reasons were superficial. He complained she is too fat. Not attractive. There were better options. If only he could take a good long look in the mirror. What a Jerk.

She wants to settle down. She wants to give him the ultimatum, but yet she fears that he will walk away, with no hesitation.

But it was time she made a decision. Her expectation had lowered. But it will not go any lower.

So she decides to walk away. Heartbroken - again.

How to you explain the feeling - being totally without hope, yet totally hopeful, all at the same time?

Because that was exactly how she felt. Hope is lost, but still she hopes for yet another day.

Because she has no other option, but to continue hoping.

Until 'ever after'.

Feb 14, 2010

Fall in love again

I don't think I've ever missed posting a blog entry every Valentine's day since I started blogging. I think.

Don't plan to break the tradition. :-)

I remember listening to this song on the radio and didn't think much of it. But it was only after a couple of listens did I really hear the lyrics to it. And when I did (one of the mornings while I was driving to work), it made me smile. Kinda like when I heard this song.

I was hooked, but never bothered to Google or Youtube it. Never knew who the singer was until I heard the radio announcer said this name yesterday: Jason Castro.



American Idol Season 7 contestant! I fell in love with his voice when he sang 'Michelle' by The Beatles. Helps that he has a charming face too. ;-)p

I like the song's upbeat tune, the cute lyrics. Very lovey-dovey, falling-in-love-for-the-first-time, that fuzzy feeling feeling. (Yes, you read me right, you read 'feeling' twice.)

Love it. Apt for Valentine's day, no? Enjoy!

Just to set the record straight: I like the song, but I kinda have issues with his dreadlocks which are so obviously longer than the girl in the video clip. Seems a little odd. Plus he has that pretty boy look, which I think makes him as pretty as, if not prettier than, the girl. I think I'd still prefer guys to have short hair.
All that aside, here's wishing all of you, "Gong Xi Fa Chai!"

Jan 14, 2010

The car is mine.

I love the Kelisa I drive. I think it's the cutest car (after the VW Beetle and Mini Cooper, haha). So when my dad announced months ago that he would be paying the final installment of the car loan, I chirpily said, "I'll pay the last installment! Then the car is mine!"

I only got around to transferring the money to him early this morning. Later that morning, he sent the following email to me.

If you didn't already know, my dad is quite the joker.

So, it's official! I own the Kelisa. Well, at least 1.24% of it.